Okay, so like most lists of frequently asked questions, most of these questions aren't asked that frequently at all. However, they *are* questions that have reared their heads either in conversations with other SoulBonders or people who feel they might SB, so I decided to compile this list to help both fellow SBers out there and those who simply want to know more. If you've got any other questions regarding SBing, email me - I'll try and reply ASAP, and maybe even add your question to this page.

Q: Who coined the term "SoulBonding"? And how come it's capitalized that way?
A: Amanda Flowers, a member of the JFW, coined the term "SoulBonding", and I believe that in one discussion relating to the subject, she said that the inspiration for the term being capitalized like that was the title of the RPG "SoulBlazer". Basically, she just thought it looked cool. ^_^ (That's how I remember it, anyway; if you're reading this and you want to correct me, Amanda, drop me a line!) In addition, "soulbonding" is a term used by many other groups and with many different meanings attributed to it - for example, I've heard it used by Otherkin to refer to a soulmate/life partner with whom one has an empathic bond, and it even cropped up once in the cartoon "Daria" - and our unique way of spelling it is one way to distinguish what we mean by SBing with what other people mean by SBing. However, not everybody spells it like that; a lot of people just say Soulbonding or soulbonding, and that's okay too. "Soulscape", meanwhile, was a term I coined (other SBers have different names for it - "mindscape" and "headspace" are two that come to mind), and I didn't feel it was sufficiently used elsewhere to warrant the capitalization.

Q: Who/what are/were the JFW? How can I join?
A: The JFW (Just For Writers; also known as the Writers' Club, though I don't know anyone in the club who actually called it that) was a mailing list which was originally set up for writers of fantasy, sci-fi and/or videogame-based stories, but was really just a small group of likeminded people, most (if not all) of whom were SoulBonders, who discussed SBing, role-playing in its various incarnations, and other common interests. The club is pretty much disbanded as of today, though officially there is still a mailing list, to the best of my knowledge. There was never a website or an application procedure; people were merely invited to join from time to time (Goddess, that makes me sound elitist, don't it? ^-^;;). Since the concept of SoulBonding was started in the JFW, they get referenced a lot by "old-timers" in the community, though less so today.

Q: I don't have one of these "soulscape" thingies, but I still feel like I SoulBond. Does this mean I'm not a SoulBonder?
A: Of course not! Please be aware that everyone's experience of SoulBonding is individual - the way in which people interact with their SBs (and other people's), and their theories on how SoulBonding happens and what SBs actually are, can differ greatly. The things I've outlined on these pages are just my own theories on, and experiences of, the concept. Just because you don't fit this or that criteria doesn't mean you're not a SoulBonder, as long as you identify with the basic concept - in other words, if you feel like you SB, you almost certainly do. I didn't have a definite soulscape until I SoulBonded Raiza, but I had SBs for many years before that. Some people never have soulscapes - just the feeling that their SBs are "inside them". Some people have a soulscape for every SoulBond they have. Some people interact with their SBs in the characters' own story-worlds. Either way, it doesn't make you any less (or more) of a SoulBonder.

Q: I've only ever had one SoulBond, but other people seem to have so many. Is it normal to only have one or two?
A: There's nothing special or clever about having a large number of SoulBonds, and there's nothing wrong with only having a couple. Many people only have one true SoulBond at any one time. When I first started to SoulBond, I found I was only capable of keeping one SB within my mindspace at once; the arrival of any new SoulBond inevitably forced the other out. And while it's certainly possible to have a large number of SBs all at once, there is an upper limit beyond which it's near-impossible for all those characters to be fully-active, fully-fleshed-out presences all at the same time. Even though I have a fairly large number of SoulBonds, only one or two are a definite presence at any one time, with some less strongly defined and others almost completely fading into the background. As for people who tell you they've got 100 or more SoulBonds, they're almost certainly lying. =P It's impossible to juggle such a large number of characters in mindspace continuously and have any of them mean anything special to you or contribute anything to your life. SoulBonds are not trading cards (I'll swap Fenril for a Unit-01 and two bridge bunnies. - Karl), and more is not necessarily better. (See What SoulBonding isn't.)

Q: How do you tell the difference between a SoulBond, and an obsession with/crush on a character?
A: A lot of the time they go hand-in-hand. If you feel a deep empathy for a character, if you feel close to them in such a way that you can see life through their eyes, when things that would hurt them start hurting you and things that would make them feel good make you feel good as well, then you probably have at least a bit of an obsession with them too. However, the reverse is not always the case. Being obsessed with or in love with a character doesn't automatically mean you SoulBond them. (Again, see What SoulBonding isn't.) Basically, if you find that you don't just love and admire a character, but you start feeling as though they are "with" you somehow in your everyday life, that they are more than a character to you but a real person with their own unique feelings and emotions - not just someone that you "puppet", or act out fantasies with - then you SoulBond.

Q: Is it possible to fall in love with a SoulBond?
A: It's possible to fall in love with any person or character, so yes. However, you don't have to be in love with a character to SoulBond them, and being in love with them does not automatically mean that you SoulBond them. (I just said that, didn't I? ^-^;;)

Q: SoulBonding sounds so cool! Please tell me how I can become a SoulBonder!
A: You won't believe how many people send me email along the lines of "I want to become a SoulBonder" or "I want to experience this phenomenon" like it's something they can initiate themselves into. It isn't. SoulBonds, for the most part, find you, not the other way around; you can't force yourself to SoulBond with a particular character, and to attempt to do so would not only be unsuccessful, it could be harmful. In that situation, you have to take a long, hard look at yourself and ask why it is that you want to be a SoulBonder so badly. Is it because you want a group to belong to? Is it because it makes you feel special, magical, esoteric? Or is it because you think SoulBonders are somehow "superior" to other people? Being a SoulBonder does not make you special. It's merely something you are. This page was created to promote awareness in those who do SB or think they might SB, and to create a community for them - not to set up a clique where we go, "ha ha, we're special and you're not". If that's why you want to be an SBer, please leave now, because this isn't the place for you.

Q: Can two real-life people SoulBond?
A: That depends how you mean it. I know SoulBonders who have reality-versions of "real world" people in their heads; it's uncommon, but it can happen. (I've heard of someone who SBed Shakespeare....) But when most people ask me this question, it has the meaning of "can two people share a destiny, can they be bonded through life and death through love", e.t.c. Yes, I suppose they can, but that's not what I mean by SoulBonding and that's not what this page is about. When I say "my SoulBonds", I don't mean real-world life partners/soulmates. They are characters, in various forms, who have touched my heart and who share my life with me through my thoughts and feelings. That is what SoulBonding is to me.

Q: Isn't SoulBonding marriage in your world?
A: No, that's bonding. Bonding is Pureland (my soulscape)'s equivalent of marriage, for all intents and purposes. It has nothing to do with SoulBonding.

Q: Soul...Bonding? This isn't like some kind of spiritual slavery, is it?
A: (Ryoko: ::mutters something about CM, coffee monkeys and equal rights::) Eh... no. It's not slavery, at least not for me. My SoulBonds don't make me do things I don't want to, and I don't make them do things they don't want to either. In fact, they usually get their pick of things like what music to listen to, and even stuff like food (as in, the things I eat, being that we're sharing a body - Ryoko is a chocolate fiend ^__^;) It's more like a family - we put our heads together, astrally speaking, and make decisions on most things. And I would never make my SoulBonds go through something that upset them or frightened them (for example, if one of my SoulBonds has a phobia of something, and some do, I respect that). And while we're on the topic, any mention of "dominant" SBs on these pages has nothing to do with any kind of dominant/submissive relationships, S&M, or even one being better than the others. My dominant SBs are just those whose presence and/or influence is currently the strongest - the ones at the forefront of my mind, if you like. No one stays dominant for too long - sooner or later they recede, and someone else takes their place.

Q: If it's nothing to do with S&M, then why do people say "soulbondage"?
A: No SoulBonder I know uses the word "soulbondage". The correct term is SoulBonding or soulbonding (however you want to capitalise it). People usually only use "soulbondage" when they're trying to give it a bad image or make fun of it.

Q: I'm worried about you. Isn't this "SoulBonding" thing awfully like possession/Multiple-Personality Disorder/schizophrenia?
A: Firstly, no, it is not demonic possession. I'm not sure I believe in such a thing anyway, and even if I did, I very much doubt that any such demons would take the form of videogame characters and fluffy, half-animal half-sprite critters. =P As for "MPD", that's an entirely different issue. Many SBers seem to want to claim as much distance from Multiples as possible, but multiplicity - the existence of more than one person in one body - is not abnormal or disordered if the system exists healthily and works together (as most do), and has many things in common with SBing. What they appear to be is points along a continuum, and they are certainly related, thought to say that SBing is multiplicity is inaccurate. (Read this essay for a greater insight into the continuum between the two.) Schizophrenia - unlike multiplicity - is a true mental disorder, and is unrelated to SBing or multiplicity. Schizophrenics are unstable, unable to cope in everyday society, and often dangerous to themselves and others. SoulBonders are not that, and neither are Multiples.

Q: But isn't multiplicity caused by trauma? So does that mean to have SoulBonds, you must have been abused?
A: No. Multiplicity is merely a state of existence, like lefthandedness or homosexuality (although we know people who'd probably condemn you for those, too). Some Multiples have suffered abuse (and they tend to be the ones you hear about). But a lot of people who aren't Multiple have suffered abuse, too. It happens, whether you're Multi or singlet or mashed potato with cheese. Multiplicity appears to have many causes - the body being a gateway to other worlds, "walk-in" and channeled spirits, the traditional "split", or just being born like that. SoulBonds happen because people empathise enough with a character for them to come into being as a part of that person. You don't have to be abused to have SoulBonds, nor to be Multiple. It's about empathy, not trauma-resistance.

Q: Does this mean my SoulBonds are going to start taking over my body?
A: No. All we're saying is that it's possible for SoulBonding relationships to develop into Multiple systems, not that it always happens or that it's even common.

Q: What's the difference between SoulBonding and Multiplicity anyway?
A: Generally speaking, in a SoulBonding relationship, there is one person (the SoulBonder), who controls the body (known as "fronting") and one or more SoulBonds, who stay "in the background" and may talk to or influence the SoulBonder, but cannot (or do not) have control over the body. In a Multiple system, there are many individuals within the body who have equal ability to front (not all people in a Multiple system may be able to do it, but at least two can). These are just rough waypoints, and there are many degrees of existence between the two. See here for more information.

Q: Can I talk to one of your SoulBonds?
A: You can certainly ask to talk to anyone in the system if you have a genuine question, though not everybody wants to communicate with the outside world or is able to at this time. Send an email to us with the subject line "Attn: [person's name]". Please don't email to make fun of people or make hurtful remarks; any such emails will be discarded like any other abusive mail.

~*~ return to child of mana ~*~